idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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