I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
