I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
