He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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