That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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