I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
