didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I see more hoeing in ur future
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