There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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