never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
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