Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
