Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
