he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
