Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
