I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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