if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
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