hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
My balls are so social today.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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