'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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