Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
