I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
