Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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