not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
