Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
