whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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