Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
