Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize