I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
