Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
