Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
