At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
