I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
