It's Friday. Sex?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
