He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
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