Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
i drank out of a bidet.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
