He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
