I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Randomize
