Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
