Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Randomize