i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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