My boss' voice literally gives me gas
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
