If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize