Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
