Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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