I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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