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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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