Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I'm passing your future prison.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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