well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
pray to the hookup gods
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
