Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
should my penis look like a turkey
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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