Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
It was confusing and full of hummus
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
