can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
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