Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
