You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
areolas are like halos for boobs.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
