At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
