Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
It's like God shit irony all over that family
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
