I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
