Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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