I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
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