just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
She announced her abortion via fbk
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Randomize
