Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
