At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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