Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
