I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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