Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Randomize
